This is Bishop, in my first Slacker Mafia post. Now, Mattricks and Marty have weighed in (Newman was busy singing) but maybe it's time I weigh in.
Ed Havens. Ed Havens backs out more than a guy with a one-car garage. He pulls out quicker than Mattricks when he's told, "sure, you can do that on my face." He runs away faster than Marty in a town without cigarettes. He disappears faster than me in during a magic show where the magician makes the most awesome thing in the room disappear. Ladies and gentlemen, Ed Havens is a writer-pussy.
Put up or shut up time, you loud-mouth geriactric. It's time to see what you're made of. And I hope it's good. I hope it blows my mind. Because since 2004, all I've heard from you is "You're not as good as [guy who wasn't good enough to keep Producer's Chair or Film Mogul running, and who has no real life deal]." No, we're better. We've got M & M. They're barely legal to drink and they are better than you.
I remember the way you and Cassy would talk ... "Oh, still playing a game, Bishy?" Yup, I did, and I kept my writing skills sharp. I honed my craft, and still hone my craft, on one of the greatest free gifts for writers that's out there. And what did you do? You sniped at HTG. You got snooty, got bored, came back, wrote "Afterlife," "Hot Coco," and "The Frozen Heart" and you showed you'd lost whatever writing gifts you'd ever had. While you were out being psuedo-superior, the Slacker Mafia was becoming incredible.
And yet, you still keep talking. The guy who lied about being the kid in the park for a film credit keeps teasing us with releases he's afraid to go through with, but it's just that. Teasing. He knows how it feels when a guy who knows writing like the back of his hand looks over his work and finds it shitty. He's afraid of doing it again.
I've asked to preview "Salvage." Ed Havens will probably not let me check it out. He should. Ed, is it really that satisfying to get a "good for you!" from your wife, Trig Havens, or the random friends you get to show up to pat you on the back and then disappear? Does that "jazz" you, as a guy who's only slightly older than you named Bill O'Reilly might say?
You want to be awesome, grandpa? Win me over. Win us over. I dare you. Get past adolescence and become a man.
-- Bish
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135 comments:
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First!
Man, I posted first, but now all these old comments are showing up, so I guess I'm not first. That's fried, man.
Troy, if all of the comments posted before your First! are just spams, then your First! counts. I think you can take credit for your first.
So, in that same vein, I declare SECOND! :)
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I thought John Wayne got rid of all of them Indians. The Indian casino near where I live is run by Mexicans.
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Me neither. I google you and the only site says it is down for construction on both on you. Is this a joke? Do you not sell the boner pills? I need some for thanksgiving. My cousin is coming over and she is hot.
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I was wondering why these spams targeted this particular article. Then it hit me. Apparently a search for "Ed Havens" returns the need for boner pills. That's a shame. If these guys make any money selling these boner pills, Ed Havens deserves a cut. That's what I think.
Whatever you do, do not buy that Perfect Pushup thing off of TV. It's a rip. It's like 25 bucks for 2 squashed coffee cans with handles. I am so mad right now.
I clicked comments, because there were 20 made. I was hoping for an interesting discussion on the topic of the post. But instead most of it is these foreigners peddling their spam. I say we track them down and shove a whole bottle down their throat and laugh at the inevitable heart attack.
Sad when the boner pill ads are more intelligent than the post they're spamming.
I used Yahoo search to find a place to get rid of my junk car. I thought this was a site for a salvage yard, but instead all there is is some mention of "Salvage", whatever that is. And all these ads for "boner pills". You guys need to link to salvage yards in your area if you're going to have "Salvage" mentioned on your site.
I used Yahoo search to find a place to get rid of my junk car. I thought this was a site for a salvage yard, but instead all there is is some mention of "Salvage", whatever that is. And all these ads for "boner pills". You guys need to link to salvage yards in your area if you're going to have "Salvage" mentioned on your site.
What kind of car is it? My uncle has a salvage yard outside of town. Just go a mile down Route 7, turn left at the big bank advertisement, go half a mile, then it's on your right. You can't miss it. Tell him Jimmy sent you. (Maybe he'll get me something for Christmas!)
I don't get what this is about. Is it about a junkyard? About ED pills? About meeting singles from India? Now that fellow wants us to outsource our sex lifes?
Oh, maybe that's where the pills come in. I don't get the car thing yet, though.
I just realized something out. Ed Havens. ED pills. That's where this all started. I'm surprised fans of the TV show Mr. Ed haven't ventured by. Know what I mean, Wilburrrrrrr?
My stupid little brother ate one of my dad's Viagra once, thinking it was a Flintstones Chewable Vitamin. He got a pretty bad headache, but a really impressive stiffie. He walked around the house for a few hours without any pants on. My mom freaked. She tried to wrap him up, but he wouldn't have any of that. "Look, mom, just like daddy!" and all that. Oh, what a crazy little brother I have. Too bad he's a retard. But I love him anyway.
Oh! I love cheese too! Especially gouda. Edam's close, but gouda's the best. One of my favorite jokes is "Is that cheese gouda?" "It should be. I just bought it this morning." Oh, how that cracks me up. That and those old Dean Martin roasts. Good stuff.
Do you know what my favorite flavor of pudding is? It's a trick question! Ha! I don't like pudding. Not at all.
What's the deal with that horse and that crying boy? Did he sit on it and cut it in half with his huge ass?
Oh, wait, that's a unicorn! I get it now. Is Slacker the boy's name?
I went to grade school with a boy named Jerome Slacker. He moved when we were in fifth grade. I haven't seen him since. I should look him up on the web and see what's up with him. Ask him how he's doing. See if he likes unicorns. If he doesn't, that would be ideal for this site. Slacker versus unicorn and all that. Yup.
Some one neds to make this in movie. I would watch. It would be good with guy from meethead show.
I watch movie with unicorn and boner pills. Very intresting. Much like chamostov in play. I think would make the good movie to.
Your mom likes boner pills.
I had an uncle who said he was awesome. He was unemployed, living on disability because of an accident at the dog food plant. He would sit on his front porch all day and whistle at people who walked by. He had a stroke a few years ago and died. Was he awesome? Just because he said he was, doesn't make it so. Sad but true. Do you know what else is sad but true? Those guys who play basketball against the Harlem Globetrotters? Fakes. They don't play to win. It's all a part of the show. Now that's sad.
You had an unemployed uncle? I had an unemployed uncle! What a coincidence! My uncle's not dead, though. He lives in a fishing cabin out by the lake. He doesn't eat the fish he catches, though. He just likes to fish. He eats spaghetti a lot. When I went out to visit him a couple months ago, we had spaghetti almost every night. No sauce. He said the sauce ruins the taste of the pasta. I think sauce compliments the taste. What do you think?
I think these comments are getting away from the proper purpose.
Do these boner pills work or not?
Just found this blog. But it hasn't been updated since November 20. Is it still active? Or is it just a place to advertise ED pills?
I once took an ED pill to see what the deal was. It gave me a headache like I was going to die. Thank God it didn't last for four hours.
I bet anyone who does it with Madonna needs to take a boner pill. Have you seen her? Disgusting. Like she's all sinew. Eww.
On the other hand, that Jessica Alba has a kicking body again after having her baby. Not eww at all.
I'm on the fence, though, concerning Reese Witherspoon. Nice chest, but I can't get over her pointy chin. Just throws off my concentration.
I hear they're going to make a new Brendan Fraser Mummy movie that has him chasing Madonna while she's on tour pissing people off. At the end the old bitch is corned by him and the Pope. When Madonna withers and dies, the Pope absorbs all of her stored power and is able to provide food for starving Africans for 3 months. Way to go, Pope.
Do you realize you've posted a comment about the Pope in a set of replies that started with spam for boner pills? I don't think the Pope would appreciate that.
I also tried one of the little blue pills when they came out, just to see what would happen. I eventually got a stiffy, but it didn't last long. Maybe I shouldn't have wasted it on self indulgence.
I like that Beyonce Knowles commercial for Direct TV where she sings Upgrade. Man, is she hot. That Jay Z is one lucky mother.
You know what else is hot? Those new NFL caps. Just like the ones the coaches wear on Sundays. Good stuff.
You in know what i enjoy? the film the blazing sadles. when he the guy go where white woman at i say is funny very much. i laugh so hard my nose it exploding.
I guy I know came up to me yesterday and pulled the "good news, Geico" joke on me. Are you kidding? Isn't that a couple years old? It's like those idiots who still Rick Roll. Can't anyone keep up with the times?
Apparently the newest gag is farting in a glass and making your friends sniff it. As far as online jokes go, I'm not sure. Maybe I'll go check out www.barneyinthehouse.com to see if anything's mentioned.
Sorry, that's www.barneyisinthehouse.com. They have that video highlighted today with the puppy pooping in his dog food bowl and the baby tasting it. Funny stuff.
OMG, I LOVE Blazing Saddles! That part where he asks where the white women are at cracks me up every time. And the part where he sticks the pistol to his head and takes himself hostage. Oh, the whole thing is absolutely hilarious. Good call on that one.
So can I get boner pills here or not?
I think this show would be better if they got a kickin' house band.
What are you talking about? A band for what? You're messed up.
If you do get a band, though, don't get Tool. They suck. Overrated.
50 comments! Yes!
Did someone answer the guy about the boner pills? Can we get them?
Did you see that? Man, it was fantastic! Absolutely fantastic. I can't wait until next week!
I knew this guy he ate the boner pills he got sick and die. I do not want the boner pills. I use the pig lard to get the schazengutte. Work always.
Pig lard, like Crisco or something? Is it something special? Can you get it online? If you rub it on with your hand, does your hand swell up? Is there a web page that explains all of this?
shit, i just used some bacon grease that my mom had under the sink and now i smell like bacon. i tried cleaning it off, but i still smell like bacon. when my mom gets home she's going to smell me and wonder why i smell like bacon. i can't tell her why i smell like bacon. what should i do?
You can actually be making some bacon when your mom gets home. She'll go "what's up?" and you'll go "just making bacon, mom" and everything will be fine.
We no have the bacon in village sinse royal boare sacrifice to odmar. I try lamb but it do not have the same odore of the bacon. lamb kabab they taste so good.
Why will no one answer me? Can I get boner pills here or not? I have a date this weekend and I have to know!
My mom she makes the eggs in the same grease of the bacon and we have toast to but not made in the bacon grease it is made in the toaster.
No shit, dumbass. That's what toasters are for.
I don't get it. It's an anti-plaque gargle AND a minty mouthwash? No way!
Yes way. And IT WORKS!
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Do not use the miha gargal it is sewar water. use the Trahmin Wash it is mint fresh and you can buy two get the one more for gratis. free posting if you buy one of case or more order today.
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oh man i think a mouthwash that also gives you boners would be cool i think they should do that it would be cool
You know what would be really cool? If you got me a jug of SHUT THE FUCK UP.
i hear this guy on the radio he say he eat the onions to get the satysfing manhood. onions give me the vapros so no big manhood i cannot eat them. maybe the mouth drink it would be good.
Have you guys seen that new commercial that has Somebody's Watching Me playing in the background? I don't remember what it's for, but I love that song.
My favorite commercial is that one with quarterback Payton Manning where the people insult him, but he turns it into something positive.
"Go take a hike."
"You know what? I think I will. This weather is sweet!"
Man, that cracks me up every single time.
are you say the payoton manning he take the boner pill to? i bet if the peopel know this they no the like him as much. he is to be great sporting star but if he take the boner pill peopl go he is not a big man he need the boner pill. would be bad for him.
What the hell is it with all of these illiterate bastards? Shit, at least try to write reasonable English.
And who says "boner pills"? That's gay. As gay as a guy with a unicorn fixation. My little sister likes unicorns. And she's twelve.
If you want to like something, like tits and snatches. That's what us big boys like.
Yes, tits and snatches. Love them.
i like the tit and the snatchs they are good i like them a lot all the time yes
I don't get what all of the above is supposed to be about. Oh, and I love NASCAR.
Anonymous, I think you've forgot what this was supposed to be about -- boner pills.
Oh, man, can you imagine if a Nascar driver took a bunch of boner pills and had to race with a giant stick between his legs for hours? Oh, man, that would be painful. I've never tried a boner pill, but my uncle says that he can cut down trees with his wood, lol.
WTF? I found this blog doing a random NEXT on Blogger. What is this supposed to be about? Some foreigners trying to rip you off? NASCAR? Blazing Saddles (cool movie, btw)?
This blog hasn't been updated for almost 2 months. I think you're all beating a dead horse here.
my sister she use the horse spuken for the skin moister. she say it work good, but she smell like the horse spuken. i say why have the moister skin if you smell like the horse spuken. i woud have the not moister skin and not smell like the horse spuken if she are me.
Yuri mot sonofbitch, you are wrong. The horse mak spuken it does not smell bad it smell good. It smell like flowers on the meadow after rain. You should try the spuken and see good moist skin.
Did I understand those foreigners right? They're talking about rubbing horse semen on their skin to make it softer? That's disgusting. Sperm hardens, it doesn't soften. I should know, the skin on my lower belly is like a rock.
My stepmom uses horse shampoo to wash her hair. She says it makes it stronger and gives it a shine. I don't think there's any horse sperm in it, though.
I see the blogstahn is new with news on new things so i think we no need the hachen schmoo in the hair haulchenffes.
My parents, my brother and I rode horses when we went on vacation last summer. My brother's was acting up a little. Leroy, the guy who was taking us down the trail, said the horse needed milked. But it was a guy horse. It didn't occur to me until later what he meant. Someone was going to jack off the horse to make him lest jittery! Oh, man, I wouldn't want that job.
no these horse they not ride horse they for fulid only. brother he work at camp he foahk with man who get fluid and he say it good job with much money.
my boryfriend ramone he have much fluid more than my fluid i like to rub on me it not make skin the soft it make skin smell like ramone love fluid. i wear all day and i feel like he with me all day.
I just saw a "retro commercial" for Big Jim Sports Camper and they didn't have Big Jim in it. Just BJ's "fishin' buddy" Josh. What the frak?
Ha! Brokeback Jim and Josh!
Sorry, was away. Anything happen while I was gone? Find some good boner pills? It turns out that my sister's husband has to use them because of an accident he had in the Navy. Something about an anchor and his nutsack. He didn't go into details.
my cousin urgi he my father brother son he lose left bachen in rideng accdent he say he walk funny for the while but he learn to walk good again now he make candy at factory in muncha.
You know, you can get fake balls if you lose any. Plastic or metal. Man, that would be wild, having metal balls.
Персона которая пишет эту гречиху идиот.
I prefer sourdough myself.
My mom she says pages like this they just link to porn so i come here and where is the porn?
I do google horse smacht and i come here but no horse smact only spachen horse smact where is horse smact you need noclamer.
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why cant you use vaseline it good for skin and lube for rectum
The Vaseline you use as a sex lube is different than the Vaseline you use as a skin lotion.
I personally prefer Ariba for my skin, something I pick up when I'm across the border every couple of months. It's only one dollar for a huge 3 liter jug.
If you can't make it to Mexico, might I suggest Jihnsua. It's made in, I think, the Philippines. A little more expensive, but it has a nice sweet aroma that reminds me of cinammon and bananas. In fact, I think they use bananas to make it! It's for sale at most of your Walgreens, CVC and other such places.
** WARNING!!! ***
Last summer I bought a jug of the Flise horse semen. It gave me a wicked rash that took several weeks to go away. I had to take antibiotics for a month.
Get this... Flise advertises that they are "U.S.A." animal products, but on the horse semen label it says Made in China. WTF?!
In short, don't trust Flise. Do yourself a favor and go to your local animal products store and ask for genuine Made in America horse semen. You won't regret it.
I must object to your comment concerning our fine horse semen product. First of all, the semen is produced in the U.S.A. by American animals using American labor. It is merely packaged in China so that we can pass the savings to you, the consumer.
Secondly, did you obey the instructions on the label for applying the horse semen? It clearly states that the skin must be clean and dry before application of the product. We have found that people have a habit of putting the horse semen product on dirty oily skin. This will cause some minor irritation. The warning on the label, printed clearly in red bold letters, states this. Do not blame your failure to use our horse semen product properly on Flise Animal Products USA or any of its affiliates.
I hope that you will soon become a user of our horse semen product again, following the basic application procedures. If you have any further questions or comments, we can be reached through the web site below.
(Don't forget to check out our specials for January!)
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i think this is tipcal hollywod get all good horse schpachen and we reglar folk we get home in made horse schpachen that give the red to the skin it must stop do not suprot these peopel.
Flise, you're so full of it that it hurts to read what you write.
1) Only a PART of your horse semen is produced by animals in the U.S. Must of it is supplemented by Asian horses, particularly those from China. Read your UTC reports, you fool. Asian horses are not raised with any standard. Their semen has no standard as a result. You are very likely spreading poison on your skin if you use Asian horse semen. And, since Flise uses Asian horse semen, you are spreading poison on your skin when you use Flise.
2) Your so-called January special are the same specials that you have EVERY month (excluding a few extra that you have for the holiday). This means that they are NORMAL prices instead. There is nothing special about them. This is an illegal practice.
Really, Flise. Clean up your act or expect users of horse semen lotions to take their business elsewhere. I have.
You can not fry the tubers in the horse semen i found out the hard way.
My ex gf uses a lotion made with rhino semen, but it's hard to get and expensive. But her skin felt and tasted great.
you see the rhino semen it is not really rhino semen it is other animal mostly goat wtih bone ground in and they call it rhino semen to seel it for much money but it is really not rhino semen it is goat semen or other semen.
I thougt there was giveway there so many comment. i want giveway but no horse flude please.
the horse not give good semen they become staliun here so horse want to give good semen.
the smoo of horse it was mouth gargal in old days before mint gargal so i think smoo of horse not bad as you say.
Why are all you guys talking about horse sperm? Into beastiality? If you can't stroke your own cocks, at least keep your mitts off of defenseless animals, you sick bastards.
It is custom yes here, not to use the animal flude, but the milk of the new mother if child not born live. It is yes tradition to not waste the mother milk and to honor the dead baby by the rub yes of the milk on the skin it make it soft and hair get nice.
The mother milk is for the baby, not the skin, you degenerato. If baby dead it be sad but mother milk can be used for the wet nurse, no? But to put the mother milk on the skin like the pig lard is not good.
DO you know how much the fat in the hog larden? very much Yes. The animal semen is the most sucar so it absorb and not give smell of the swine. it is not the same sucar as for the cofee but it is most benefit the skin not hog larden.
You need to remove your taglines that are getting people here instead of to honest porn. I don't have time for this shit.
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Let us get back on track here -- Does horse sperm really work as a skin lotion? I have a friend with a horse and will ask him for some if it's true. My skin flakes like crazy.
Ah, forget it. My friend's horse is a mare. No free skin lotion there. Maybe I could but something up on Craigslist.
If its the sugar in animal semen that makes it so good for the skin, why does it taste so salty?
OK, that is the sickest thing I have ever read, your sick.
People in the Mideast have been consuming animal semen to prompt better health for centuries. If you can't accept the traditions of other cultures, especially ones that don't hurt anybody, then you shouldn't be here.
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MS, killing newborns with apparent disabilities is acceptable is some cultures. That doesn't make it acceptable to us. If someone wants to complain about consuming animal semen, it's his right to do so.
I have a feeling that the authorities would have a problem with horse semen being mailed to this country. If you have to have it, go domestic.
Do they make animal semen lite? I'm on a diet.
In Costa Rica we have the semen of the laca panther. It has the lesser calories and still remain the very sweet. If you have Latin populatione where you live, you may have the shop that sells it.
heck, squirall spunk has no calories and it goes with jack just fine. my woman anita and i use it evryday and we could not be in better helth.
Squirrel semen with cayenne pepper's good for what ails you.
My girl likes to mix my stuff with Kool Aid, usually grape. She can't drink no pop, because the bubbles hert her throat. That's wack.
What in the world is this blog about? I found it through a blog search on unicorns. The blog posts make NO sense, as if written by a 12yo sent to his room without supper. And the comments are -- well, there's no explanation. This blog needs to turn off its searchable setting.
If you no like the talk of the horse sphlugen then you need go eleswhere.
THis isn't a joke-- My gf and I were in a shop in the CHinese part of town to get some cheap herbs for cooking. They were selling jugs of animal sperm! The label was all in chinese, but there was a picture on the back with a horse on it. We wouldn't have noticed if one of the jugs wasn't turned around and I happened to notice. THat's got to be the funniest thing ever.
Knowing the chinese, the jug was probably human sperm filled in a sweat shop nearby.
NO, human semen does not have the same consistancy as animal semen. Do your research.
Man, those Chinese guys will eat and drink anything. I know this guy from Hong Kong who eats raw frogs whole. You know, those little ones. He says they're crunchy. I say that's gross.
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your mom goes to college.
This guy who goes to school here now, I can't pronounce his werid ass name, says that animal sperm is often used in the cheese making process in his country. Now THATS gross.
can you imagine a cheeseburger with chese made with sperm now that's really gross.
Can you imagine some animal sperm company advertising on TV? People would freak out. But they do advertise those boner pills. Crazy.
If I was a company advertising animal sperm on TV, I'd have Tarzan Boy playing in the background. That song is cool.
Check it out!
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